Stara and Paxy Radebe
Role models of the week
One of the longest interviews so far. I figured that it would be a bit strange if i interviewed role models from my hometown as individuals and skipped the influential couples within the Vaal Triangle. It has been one of the most difficult to organise yet the best interviews I have had so far. This is a very friendly,accommodating couple. Humble yet they speak their minds. I have divided this one into a 2 part review. Part 1 is the main interview and the upcoming part 2 is all about Themba's personal life. I will be forever grateful for this couple who took their time off their busy schedule just to sit down and listen to me annoy them,ha ha,jokes. Honestly,though,I could have nit asked for more than they already have given me.
Here is Part 1 of 2 of the Stara and Paxy's review.
Pru: “So how long have you guys been together?”
Palesa: “Since
2012, we have been together.”
Pru: “Are you
guys really engaged?”
Themba: “Yes,
we are. Actually we are married we had a traditional wedding last year. The
only thing that’s left now is a white wedding in September.”
Pru: “Am I invited? Ha-ha"
Themba: “Ha-ha,
yes you already are.”
Pru: “We already know who you are this side; you
are Themba but what I want to know is was it easy for you to get into the
transporting business?”
Themba: “Actually,
no, it wasn’t easy. Life was always been about me living for people. I was this
guy who lived to impress people but when time goes by, the maturity level comes
in. I did some self-inspection. I finally knew what I wanted in life and I saw
I have to focus on my life because time doesn’t really end, it’s the person who
ends. So I just had to have my own time and see what I really want out of my
life and time.”
Pru: “When you were living ‘that life’, had you
already met the madam on your side?"
Themba: “Yes
I had met her. I was actually cheating on her. I didn’t know that I would get
to marry her. It happened that it (that life) had to come to an end. I had to end that
life. There was a ti,me where my parents told me it’s high time to settle down
with one girl. There is no other girl who will come in and out, just ONE. It’s
not to say that I was forced to marry Palesa to impress my parents..”
Pru: “When you were living to impress people, what
kind of lifestyle was that?”
Themba: “I
would do certain things that I didn’t want to do but because I was hesitant
about what people would say, I would do it. It came to a point where this type
of life had to end.”
Pru: “Would you say the business makes you who you
are now?”
Themba: “Coming
to the buses and transporting. I am who I am because of the buses. It started
with a taxi. My dad is a taxi owner. He’s the one who groomed me. I didn’t actually
want to be in the business but it happened that God touched my life in such a
way that I actually apologized to my mom for being troublesome and came back to
reality. My dad then gave me 2 buses to start with, registered in my name and
then I bought another 2 buses. Last year I paid lobola for my wife. She was
still my girlfriend at the time, she was a virgin and “stingy” so I cheated on
her a number of times. I once asked her friend out who lives near her house. I would
date the friend and she would see me with her friend every day.”
Palesa: “But
because I am not very talkative or inquisitive, I didn’t ask him anything at
all.”
Themba: “She
was silent. My mother, this other day, I was still living at Academia. My mom called
me telling me she had a dream that I would go to jail. She told me that she needs
to see her daughter in law. I didn’t take this to head. My late grandmother
told me the exact same thing before she died. I told her she wasn’t okay and it
was crazy. I came to back to the Vaal and 2 days later, my mom mentioned
Palesa’s name. Mind you, my mom had not known Palesa, she knew the friend. I
didn’t believe in my mom’s words because I wasn’t raised to believe in ancestry
and rituals. After she said that, it was a wake-up call for me. I went home the
following day and my mom told me that if I don’t do this, I will get into
serious trouble and problems. She told me that the ancestors are angry. I called it quits to
all my other girlfriends.”
Pru: “How easy was that to call quits to your girlfriends?”
Themba: “It wasn’t easy at all. I was a pimp. My mom
told me that if I want doing to believe what she said, it sup to e and she’s
giving me the rope to hang myself. She left me there and went out. My dad came
in and told me the very same thing. He
told me it’s high time I bring ONE girl into the house. The following day, I
called all my girlfriends. I started with 1 and the rest followed. One by one.
It wasn’t easy for me but seeing my mom crying about it hurt me. Why should I
hurt my mom? She sent me to school. She struggled when my dad had divorced her.
So why should I hurt her.?”
Pru: “I want to move to Mrs. Radebe now, ha-ha, all
that money for lobola. Did you guys buy cows?”
Palesa: “ha-ha
not yet haay."
Pru: “You are really lucky. I was engaged in 2013
supposed to be married in 2014, so you are really fortunate that you found
someone who could actually engage you and stick with you to this point. You are
really fortunate, Palesa.”
(Palesa was
shocked and smiled about it)
Pru: (back to Themba) “You know how a lot of guys your
age have the mentality that they don’t need a strong woman by their side and
that they will build an empire by themselves. Here you are building an empire
with this sister here, would you sell the idea of building an empire with
someone else by your side? Would you tell Bennie, for example, I don’t mind you
wanting the idea of building the empire on your own but for me it’s better to
have a pillar of your strength to push you. Would you advise or sell that to them?”
Themba: “I definitely
would do that. I definitely would tell that to them because today I am who I am
because of my wife’s contribution. I don’t hang around with my peers. I only
have 2 friends. I advise one of them to settle things the correct way. Before I
do anything, I tell my wife first. I can’t do anything without her consent
because at the end of the day it goes back to 'not being able to live on your
own as a person'. People who live alone in most cases end up not knowing what
they want in life. They make mistakes. I don’t blame you for being alone because
of friendships and relationships but I believe everything happens for a reason.
One mistake is a pothole and one day you will have a potential. I know when I
get home at night my wife is at home. She will give me a back rub when I am
back."
Pru: (to
Palesa ) “wa tsowa? (You really wake up?)”
Palesa: “yes
mmhm ” (smiles)
Pru: “ha-ha
my goodness.”
Themba: “It
happens. You will see as time goes by,
it happens. Last night I didn’t ask for a massage but she gave me one. I felt
happy. You get me?”
Pru: “You’re young, you’re 20, my age. Well I’m
almost 21 but yes. How did you feel when Themba engage you after matric? Did
that not shock you? Did you not feel like he will block you from a lot of
things and make you nervous? Did you not feel like you can’t?”
Palesa: “I
was actually okay. He was always busy but knew where home is. I knew he would
be back so when he proposed it wasn’t a shock.”
Pru: “You had him on Facebook, right?”
Palesa: “No
but I stalked him.”
Pru: “How did you feel when you stalked him and saw
all these girls on his timeline, as a woman? Woman to woman talk, how did that make
you feel?”
Palesa: “At
first it was painful and I realized maybe it’s because I was selfish. He was
still one of those guys who liked things and gave him permission to go do what
he was doing behind my back. So I really wasn’t feeling funny about it at all.”
Pru: “This is a very soul tying question. When he
has business stress. Does it affect you? Does it hurt you or are you the one
who strengthens him? How do you deal with it?"
Palesa: “it
stressed me too because when he’s stressed he shuts everyone out.”
Pru: you are very strong! So it does affect you
because you can't really be there for your man since he shuts everyone out
when he's stressed.
Palesa: “Yes,haha”
Pru: “My favorite question ! When are your children
coming?
Palesa:
(laughs about it) “Not now.”
Themba : “but
this year though,ha ha.”
Pru: “ha-ha the one says not now, the other says
this year.”
Palesa: “ha-ha
probably after the wedding. Yes.
Pru: “Are you excited about your white wedding ?"
Palesa: Yoh!
Yes very, who wouldn’t be excited about their wedding? The minute he put the
ring on I was excited!
Pru: “Kopa ho bona ring ena hle (may I see this ring,
please?)”
Palesa:
(shows me the ring).
Pru: “Omw! Ha-ha basically I’m left behind. How
does it feel to know that when you wake up that you are behind this great
successful man that they know? How do you feel?
Ha o e kotle sefuba ausi? (Aren’t you filled with pride?”)
Palesa: “Yes
I do but I don’t want to show him because he’s too forward.”
Pru: “So, since the bus thing is a family business.
Palesa as his wife, do you have plans to push his business when it reaches a
certain level or point? You don’t have to give me the plan in detail though.”
Palesa:
“Not at the moment but I am certain that his business will rise when the time
is right. When we get to that point, it will happen. I believe in that.”
Pru: “So when you guys are a family now with
children. Let’s say you have a son. Would you wish for your child or your son
to marry a strong woman like you, who stands behind such a strong man? “
Palesa: “Yes,
yoh. Definitely. “
Pru: “How your friends feel about this change that
you are a wife now?”
Palesa: “At
first it annoyed them but I told them if they can’t accommodate or accept this
then we have to call friendship quits because this is how it will be. I don’t
have a choice. Now they have accepted it.”
Pru: “Aren’t
you nervous about stepping into ‘wife-hood’ or marriage or spending the rest of
your life with this man. Aren’t you nervous about what if you meet a guy later
in your life?
Palesa: “I am
very confident, I have no doubts! I have tried many relationships behind his
back but he was the one. I forgot all these guys around me.
Pru : “Yoh,you guys are talkative couple,thank you
so much for letting me interview you,guys!”
A very great big thank you to the Royal couple! We shall read more on Part 2 of your review!
Prudy Ambition
xx
