The Density: The generation of "blessers,blessees" and being "blessed": What blessers and blessees would NEVER tell you.

The generation of "blessers,blessees" and being "blessed".

What blessers and blessees would NEVER tell you.

Photo credit :Destiny Magazine ; THINKSTOCK

Wow, how times have changed! How times have changed! Gone are the days when being a female just meant being at home and being domesticated. Where did the days go? You know when having morals was still a big thing?

Sadly, one can’t really say but it safe to assume that the new term in South Africans’ vocabulary “blesser” has taken over. For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about ,"blesser"is a word used to describe or define a wealthy, preferably older man, who spends his money a female or females, preferably younger, in exchange for sexual pleasure. The term “blessee” is used to define or describe a female who has a blesser and blesses him with sexual pleasure in exchange for expensive trips, clothes, shoes, hair and other things such as cars, apartments etc. While this trend seems cool and fun, it has a possible downsides to it. “Blessed” is when the blesse has successfully received what she asked for or wanted from her blesser.

This trend seems to be the “it” and if you’re not on the bus you are “not cool” or don’t ‘fit in’ but all of this has a downside. Our popular trend has a dark side to it, which is rarely brought to light. The downsides include the following:

· Increase in HIV/AIDS or STis and STDs.

While unprotected sex may seem fine with a wealthy man because of the poor stigma of “wealthy people don’t get HIV”, we forget that these wealthy men can actually afford to take care of themselves, visit dieticians and see specialists while using the correct treatment. On the contrary, the blessee, might not have medical aid or may live in a rural area far from a clinic, making it almost impossible to get the correct treatment, if she can get treatment at all.

Photo : Getty Images/Commercial Use

· Kills female morals

Morals are lost-females no longer care about dignity and being outstanding when it comes to etiquette but rather more focused on selling their souls and bodies. Is it worth it to allow men to shift our minds to this extent? Those are the questions some of us ask ourselves.

· It dis-empowers South African females.

I, personally view the whole trend as a dis-empowerment to females. South African, females to be precise. What happened to the days when women would march to parliament to portray the image of “empowerment”? The days when women found strength and achievement in fighting for their rights, country, family or basically just found strength and achievement in fighting for respect as women? I get it, the trend looks cool but what image are we getting internationally as South African women. If I was British or of another nationality, do you think I would view South African women as respectable? What’s worse is if I was a single man told to look in South Africa, I would probably just decline the offer and remain single because “my money will get chowed since that’s all South African women know”. The sad part is that even it's just 40% of South African women, we are all likely to get labelled the same. It is not just disrespecting or disrespectful to you as an individual female, it is just as good as disrespecting your country’s females as a whole. It is not to say that other countries aren’t involved in this, it’s just to say that it’s sad my country’s sisters are boasting about l about it with pride.

· Broken homes

Another sad downside is the broken homes it brings. We find that sometimes, if not in most cases, married men partake in this trend. Broken homes, hurt wives, broken children and angry relatives. As a woman how do you feel breaking homes up? Proud? Wait until they break yours.

· University girls neglecting their education

One of the other downsides of the trend is how some young university girls are neglecting their studies or education because they are certain and convinced that “blesser bae” will give them everything they need. I mean sure, he can buy you an apartment and car but as a young girl what will you fall back on, should everything randomly fail? When you dig in to your past 10 years from now, what solid foundation will you have laid for yourself to rescue you from a terrible downfall? What we young girls seem to forget is that what we do today has a massive impact on our tomorrow. There are skills one needs to have to make it life and giving head isn’t one of them. Men are never hesitant to get another better looking female and leave you. Men are never hesitant to claim back what’s theirs (the car he’s paying for). Should that man want to take it from you,he will. Good at getting laid but have you laid your foundation?

photo credit : Devin Trent

· Psychological impact on younger guys.

Pressure on the “level 0” men on the blesser scale.

You have a younger brother or a son. He finds a woman like you, who loves blessers. Did you smile? Thought so.

We don’t realize that as fun as this trend is, it has a psychological impact on the male children growing up. Teenage boys are more likely to feel pressurized to “get that girl” by doing almost anything. Is that not where suicide or a low self-esteem come in? We know that the young guys of our generation dream of being successful, or are what we call “work in progress”, yet for some females, they aren’t doing enough because girls of their group prefer grandfathers who give them whatever they want.

· Physical appearance

You look good now, better than most girls but I would hate to see your physical appearance when your blesser decides to end his contract with you. What females don’t realize is that men can see you when you are “finished”. Let me explain, when you have living in the fast-lane,looking down on people, when the fast lane throws you out back into your lane,you look worse than you did before you went for the higher life. You think we don’t see that but it becomes visible and it’s sad to see that 6 years from now we might be able to tell who had lived this new trend hard.

Yes, it is also not to say that all blesses chose this life because they were bored. Some females sadly, live in poverty and the only way to generate money is through getting blessed. It’s questionable though. How are some poverty stricken females waking up in their cold shacks with no running water, to sell vegetables on the street corner? Why is this trend an excuse for “I don’t have money” when all along most of the women who were struggling back then made a plan to use their skills such as sewing, to make dolls or jerseys to sell at the corner?