My awkward trip to Sandton...YOH!

You know what...I'm just a girl, I believe it's okay to laugh at myself when I make a mistake or when I face disappointment. It's really okay to laugh and carry on with life.
 
This morning at work, my sister colleagues wanted the dirt on what happened during the holiday when I met up with my former mystery fling/crush or boyfriend?  perhaps?.

Well whatever he was, they wanted the dirt!

So Constance began "and how was it?  how is he?". I replied "wethu! It didn't end well". She was shocked because he seemed nice, legit, you know...anyway I continued...
.I was surprised he didn't throw me out of his car with my luggage, because the way he was so worked up, it was frightening enough to scare flies out of the house before they even attempt to buzz in.  I was really surprised he didn't stop in the middle of the busy traffic and throw me out! What had caused the tension was a delay which eventually landed us up in slow moving, yet busy traffic on the way to Sandton...Gee, had I known he took traffic to heart I would have been a bit more thoughtful and respectful towards his time.. anyway!

 so here we are in his lovely Mercedes and we're riding along, he's playing J Cole, shout out to him for that.  So we're on the road then we face the traffic....understand that we weren't talking. So I would try now and then to break the ice but I couldn't get through to him...He was what we call a true Xhosa man.....

vroom, here we go, in slow moving traffic....then the worst thing happened to me...

.I needed to use the loo...my bladder was sending heavy signals to my brain and that time we're in traffic far from Sandton....I mean, lol, this could have been,my punishment for getting into traffic but what could I say or do.  This man probably won't let me pee and my bladder isn't exactly "survival of the fittest"...I thought to myself "oh no my bladder is going to break in a celebrity's car, oooh nooo!"

I held it in, definitely because I spoke to God....I hope God forgives me for desperstely reaching out to Him while "Can I hit it in the morning" played...finally, I couldn't hold it in, I had to start...

 "uhm....how annoyed are you? " ...He said he wasn't annoyed kodwa yoh that response could freeze hell over! I then told him I need to use the loo, and he tells me he just drove past a garage...I let it go.....tried to break the ice but....anyway we eventually found a garage to stop by just before Sandton, I assume? ....

Trying not to look desperate, I walked out, pulled my dress down and entered.  FFuck!  Another problem, they charge 2 bucks for the loo. I'm dying, I'm desperate, I'm heartbroken, I don't have petty cash on me!  How was I going ask him to give me R2?  II'm sorry but he couldn't even give me his proper attention, how the hell will he give me R2. So I bribe the auntie like "I'll reimburse you, please pay for me, I'm desperate" mind you, I don't know where I will get this R2....off I run into the loo....

I sat in there longer than expected....secretly hoping I won't find my bags outside and him gone...where would I start, I haven't been properly trained to use public transport, what if I end up in Durban trying to get to Dainfern.

 so I'm done, pulled own my dress properly, breathe and tell myself "you've got this"....I thank the auntie and ask her if in could rather purchase and swipe for something.  SShe said I could, excllent!  good shot!  Now, to look calm, annoy him one more time by walking back inside the shop....to avoid awkwardness, I rushed, pulled my card out and went back to the shop. Probably didn't notice because he was busy on his iPhone...so I grabbed 2 packets of chips and 2 bottles of vitamin water.  great, I paid 60 bucks to use a bathroom, because I couldn't ask the angry man for 2 bucks....

I went back to the car and tried to kill the awkwardness by asking if he drinks Vitamin water.  He said "no". Yoh atche!  kanthi what's bugging this guy? ??!

I hopped in and off we went....now here I am chewing my chips "kgrom kgrom kgrom"...I felt like a failure, lmao. Now for sure I felt helpless....shoo, at last we reach our destination.  Hostlilty level?  100000000!!! even our last conversation didn't end well but that's not important...

what's important is that even after all that, I actually look back and laugh HARD at myself. I have no reason to feel like I was wrong. I played my part and apologised, meaning I acknowledged my wrong side of the story. How he takes it isn't my baby anymore. I know I cleaned my bit.

This brings me to the conclusion that it's okay to have such moments and laugh or talk about them as a girl. Don't always be so uptight, laugh, live, love!  Don't be afraid!  Because at the end of the day, you can only be you and not who you pretend to be.....